The room is dark with only a faint sliver of light sneaking its way under the door. I smell sage burning on the altar in front of me and feel the presence of my relatives sitting on the floor, like me, backs resting against the walls of the small room.
To my left sits my husband making prayers, a job that he has done thousands of times before in his role as a Dakota Spiritual Leader. I listen to his voice rise and fall in a rhythm that reminds me of ocean waves breaking on the shore.
The familiar Dakota words comfort me and I feel a peacefulness surround me like a warm blanket. I think of the brightly colored altar cloth stretched out in front of him on the floor and all the sacred items that he places upon it so carefully– an eagle wing, a pouch of tobacco, an offering of food and water, a round deer hide rattle filled with sacred white stones and his Canupa – the sacred pipe.
Suddenly the rattle comes alive and begins to shake, filling the room with sound. I hear muffled voices praying fervently nearby, which reminds me of why I am here.
“Tunkansida Ate Wakan Tanka, Pida maya piye. Pahan Pte San Win miye ye. Honamahun ye. Beautiful Creator of all that is, Grandmothers and Grandfathers. It’s me again, your granddaughter, Grey Swan Buffalo Woman. Can you listen to my words?”
I speak softly and, knowing they can hear me, I continue. “Thank you Creator for loving me so completely. My heart is full with the love you have for me and my love for you. Thank you for all the gifts I have received.”
In the blackened room, a soft white light appears in front of my eyes and begins to swirl. Round and round it grows brighter with each turn. The white light fades to a soft yellow, then orange and finally red – so beautiful and brilliant that I can see nothing but light. To my right I feel a Sacred Spirit with me who is gentle and loving, a Grandmother bending down to comfort her grandchild. I cry for the love of it.
“Kunsi, pida maya piye. Thank you my Grandmother,” I say.
All is quiet, until I hear a voice speak to me in my mind.
“It’s time,” she whispers. “Tell them, teach them. Write. This is your Sacred Work and you are ready.”
I sob quietly, overwhelmed by her love and her message. And I now know exactly what I have to do.
Initially the idea of sharing my thoughts and experiences with you and the whole wide world was daunting. In fact, it scared me outright. Still, I knew the guidance I received in the ceremony that day was true.
Why me, you might be wondering? I know I have.
Perhaps, it is because I am a simple woman living an extraordinary life. Through my relationship with Taku Wakan, something Sacred, I have learned LOVE is available within each breath I take, with each beat of my heart, within each cell of my being. It is everywhere and it is always. I have seen it, felt it and come to know it. And, somewhere along this incredible journey, at the perfect time and place, I Married a Holy Man.
With a commitment to never allow fear to hold me back, I write. This is what I write about.
Join us next week for Blog post #2 He Knows
That was a beautiful message. Thank you for sharing it with me. I would lovevto sign up for your blog.
Thanks Irene. I look forward to our journey together through this story.
Thank you for sharing your story Pahan. How it will move and teach people, no one knows, but i can understand how much strength, courage and commitment to put the words down on paper.
Thanks Mary. You are so right. Artists must be bold and vulnerable to create great works. I’ll try.
Absolutely amazing. More please.
I will Terrina!
I visited multiple web sites however the audio feature
for audio songs present at this web page is genuinely superb.
Thank you for the feedback Jim. That is good to know.
Beautifully written in such a heartfelt, compelling manner that I want to hear more. Thank you, Pahan, for sharing your journey with us, and promising to shed light on the many facets of love.
I’ll try Elaine. I’ll try!
This is so interesting. Thanks for inviting me to the blog – I look forward to reading more of your writing and stories.
Thank you Adrienne for taking the time to read the first post!
🙂 Thanks Bobbie-Jo.
What a beautiful beginning Pahan Pte San Win . I look forward to future posts
Beautiful Pahan, I can’t wait to read more.
Your words are so encouraging. Thanks Char.
You are a constant source of inspiration. I love your words, your teachings, and your role to reawaken and hold the sacred feminine alongside Wanbdi. I see your relationship as part of a great cycle to renew balance in this world.
I will try to live up to those big expectations. Thank you for your beautiful words.
Beautifully written, Pahan! I look forward to reading more!
I am so excited and thrilled for you. Your writing takes me back to Yellowknife to ceremonies and to Sundance. It is good you are inspired to write.
With love, marilyn
The magic of writing … It can take us all sorts of places. Nice to hear from you Marilyn.
Absolutely stunning. You took me there and my heart sank into that place of love, reminding me…..reminding me……and I am so grateful to you that you have taken up the work that scares you. It is a gift to us all. Heather
Thank you Heather for your beautiful words.
Truly beautiful and inspiring. I can’t wait to read more!
Awesome April. Leave your email and new blog posts will fly into your inbox automatically.
Wow, what a beautiful way to begin this new journey of yours! You’ve done a fantastic job on the website. I only wonder, why not you! I can’t wait to read more of what you are willing to share………
Yes, why not me? You’ll see. You’ll see.
I am an Ojibway woman. I feel your words in my heart and they are warming.
I am a resolution support worker with Anish in Winnipeg and would appreciate to hear more of your writings.
Thank you Deborah. That is very kind of you. Visit to view some of our teachings. You can also subscribe to the blog and to the youtube channel.