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February 14, 2016

#1 Why I Write …

The room is dark with only a faint sliver of light sneaking its way under the door. I smell sage burning on the altar in front of me and feel the presence of my relatives sitting on the floor, like me, backs resting against the walls of the small room.

To my left sits my husband making prayers, a job that he has done thousands of times before in his role as a Dakota Spiritual Leader. I listen to his voice rise and fall in a rhythm that reminds me of ocean waves breaking on the shore.

The familiar Dakota words comfort me and I feel a peacefulness surround me like a warm blanket. I think of the brightly colored altar cloth stretched out in front of him on the floor and all the sacred items that he places upon it so carefully– an eagle wing, a pouch of tobacco, an offering of food and water, a round deer hide rattle filled with sacred white stones and his Canupa – the sacred pipe.

Suddenly the rattle comes alive and begins to shake, filling the room with sound. I hear muffled voices praying fervently nearby, which reminds me of why I am here.

“Tunkansida Ate Wakan Tanka, Pida maya piye. Pahan Pte San Win miye ye. Honamahun ye. Beautiful Creator of all that is, Grandmothers and Grandfathers. It’s me again, your granddaughter, Grey Swan Buffalo Woman. Can you listen to my words?”

I speak softly and, knowing they can hear me, I continue. “Thank you Creator for loving me so completely. My heart is full with the love you have for me and my love for you. Thank you for all the gifts I have received.”

In the blackened room, a soft white light appears in front of my eyes and begins to swirl. Round and round it grows brighter with each turn. The white light fades to a soft yellow, then orange and finally red – so beautiful and brilliant that I can see nothing but light. To my right I feel a Sacred Spirit with me who is gentle and loving, a Grandmother bending down to comfort her grandchild. I cry for the love of it.

“Kunsi, pida maya piye. Thank you my Grandmother,” I say.

All is quiet, until I hear a voice speak to me in my mind.

“It’s time,” she whispers. “Tell them, teach them. Write. This is your Sacred Work and you are ready.”

I sob quietly, overwhelmed by her love and her message. And I now know exactly what I have to do.

3 pow wow dancers

Initially the idea of sharing my thoughts and experiences with you and the whole wide world was daunting. In fact, it scared me outright. Still, I knew the guidance I received in the ceremony that day was true.

Why me, you might be wondering? I know I have.

Perhaps, it is because I am a simple woman living an extraordinary life. Through my relationship with Taku Wakan, something Sacred, I have learned LOVE is available within each breath I take, with each beat of my heart, within each cell of my being. It is everywhere and it is always. I have seen it, felt it and come to know it. And, somewhere along this incredible journey, at the perfect time and place, I Married a Holy Man.

With a commitment to never allow fear to hold me back, I write. This is what I write about.

Join us next week for Blog post #2 He Knows